The Power of Touch

What does this mean to you? Does every touch lead somewhere? Should it?This is a…

What does this mean to you? Does every touch lead somewhere? Should it?

This is a common thing I’m told from my patients; they avoid ALL touch because they are afraid of the beginning of it leading somewhere and then having to turn their partner down because they’re not interested in sex or struggling with their libido. They avoid it all together because they find it easier. This can cause relationship breakdown.

Not all touch needs or SHOULD be sexual, it can be sometimes, and sexual activity does start that way, it is also very important to have touch without implications, where you feel safe, where you feel loved and cared for and you don’t feel there are any expectations. This is how INTIMACY is created and this is different from sex. It is a building block. It releases oxytocin our feel-good hormone; it brings us closer together, it maintains our bond. When one partner in a couple is struggling with their libido, touch is a fantastic way to remain close and show love and affection for one another.

So what is nonsexual touch?

This can be cuddling on the couch, nuzzling into their arm or chest in bed, resting a hand on their leg, kissing when you leave for your day or come home at night, playing with her hair or giving him a head rub. These things ensure you maintain that closeness when sex is not on the table.

What to do about it?

For starters, take note of when and how you touch each other and how you feel about it. Then have a conversation about it and try incorporating some of these other ways to connect instead.